The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

I haven’t written in a little while because well, I’ve had my hands full; literally, with my daughter.  First, just to catch up on some good things - over Memorial Day weekend (which of course doesn’t exist here), Darren and I had a Housewarming Party in our new house.  We’ve only been in the house for 6 weeks, but so many expats travel during the "summer" (which also doesn't exist here, in the tropics) – either to their home country or elsewhere, that I wanted to have the party before our friends disband to all sides of the globe.  So, I spent weeks making sure every moving box was unpacked, furniture was delivered, art-work was framed, pictures were hanging on the wall, and we were relatively organized, so we could invite our friends to our house and feel proud.  We had a great turn-out of over 60 people and the party was a lot of fun.  Below are some snapshots of the party.

After the party, and this may sound hard to believe; but the day after the party I felt like I finally had a “day off.”  When we arrived there were so many transition issues to sort out – school problems of two kids in two different schools, setting up a bank account, buying a car, finding a house here, negotiating a housing contract, renting our house back home, applying for permanent visas on our passport, paying bills here and back home, etc. etc. the list goes on.  Then, coordinating the move into the house, tracking and coordinating our shipment from the US, and logistics of moving into the house took up an inordinate amount of time.  Then for the next 6 weeks I was unpacking boxes (232 of them, to be exact), getting settled, and lastly getting ready for the housewarming party.  So, the day after the party, I rested.  I was exhausted.

The next day.  . . . not a week later, or a month later, or after I was all rested and ready for action, but the very NEXT DAY, all hell broke loose.

Natasha broke her leg. 


She was playing in an indoor play room near our house and she climbed up onto a toy house and jumped into a ball pit which she thought was very deep and would cushion her fall.  It did not.  Instead it was very shallow and it was only 1 layer of balls resting on top of a concrete floor.

Seeing her writhing in pain and was bad enough, but then the rush to get her to the doctor, her shrieking in agony along the way, and the doctor telling me I needed to drop everything and rush her to Singapore the next day to be evaluated by a pediatric surgeon was all pretty bad.  That night we had to go out to buy a wheelchair (they don't rent them here), and I stayed up until 3:00 am making travel arrangements, clearing everything with the airlines, the insurance company, and Darren's office health unit.   Then it got worse: transporting her to the airport and Singapore in pain, doctors visits there, being in a hospital with an extremely scared little girl, and having to help her through sleepless nights, fear and anxiety, and at least three hysterical fits in the middle of the night, in addition to an almost exorcist-girl-like reaction to anesthesia.  No, this wasn't just bad, it was horrible and ugly.  Mornings and evenings were the worst, when she was in the most pain and very emotional.  But at least during the day Natasha managed to have a few good hours, and even an occasional smile.  


I wanted to make sure Natasha didn't have entirely negative memories of our visit to Singapore, so I tried to treat her and coddle her a bit with some fun things like a new toy, ice cream, and a trip to see the Singapore Flyer - the largest Ferris Wheel in the whole wide world.  So, there was certainly a lot of pain and anxiety, but I also tried to create a few happy memories before went back to Jakarta.

The Singapore Airport:  We were very happy to be flying home, but Natasha was embarrassed by her cast and kept a blanket over her leg in the airport.

I loved seeing Singapore - what a gorgeous city - but still I was VERY happy to see the sun setting on this little overseas experience.

We returned from Singapore on Saturday, and by Sunday the pain has lessened a bit, but the reality of it all had begun to set in with the anger and frustration of not being able to walk, run, swim, or go to the bathroom by herself for 6 weeks - and me having to sleep in her room (in case she needs to go to the bathroom during the night, which she often does).  Having to carry my 5-year old to the bathroom, in and out of cars, and play nursemaid to a frustrated, uncomfortable little girl all summer is not really what I had in mind.  But, she needs me right now and we do what we have to do for our children, right?

As you might suspect, this experience has certainly given me a new found appreciation for individuals living with disabilities . . . and their guardians. 


On Monday following our return was Natasha and Logan's last week of school, which is a very big week here, with lots of activities and fun things going on at school.

So, very nervous and embarrassed, but braced with a smile and trying to be brave, Natasha returned to school in a wheelchair with her pink cast.  Although the school offered no formal assistance in getting her from class to class (I was told by the administration: "usually a family just has their nanny sit outside the classroom"), but Natasha's teacher and teaching assistant were wonderful in helping out, and her classmates eagerly wheeled her around and fetched anything for her that she needed.  In fact, at least one or two kids exclaimed, "I wish I were in a wheelchair!"  I tried to disabuse them of the notion that being in a wheelchair is fun, but I don't think they quite got it.

Natasha, her teacher Ms. Corley, and classmates.

Natasha and her friends at school.

Camping Day at school!

Below are some of Natasha's classmates and their parents on "Share Day" in which the kids share what they've been working on with their parents.  Just a few of the nations represented in Natasha's class, she has classmates from India, Korea, Sweden, Australia, Japan, America, Venezuela, Argentina, Malaysia, and, of course, Indonesia.

 

Natasha and her class performing for the parents, three songs about nature:

 

So, who knows what will happen for summer camp starting next week and for the next six weeks while the cast is on.  No swimming, running, biking, etc.  But, at least, unlike Washington, D.C., the swimming and outdoor activity season here is all year long and not just in the summertime.  So, once her cast comes off, she'll be able to enjoy those activities again . . . and again and again, all year long.