Whatcha Wanna Know?

Questions, Questions, Questions . . . 

People back home email me questions all the time about my life as an expat in Jakarta. So, I've decided to sit down and think about the answers and provide them in a cohesive format.  So, if you're interested, read on. My intention is to give a realistic glimpse of what it's really like - the good, bad, and neutral - of being an expat.

So, here are the top questions people ask me about my life in Jakarta, and answers to those questions:

What do you like most about Jakarta?

* People here are nice, and generally try to be helpful and are eager to please. I have not experienced any attitude, back-talk, sarcasm or rolling of the eyes when someone has helped me. Help is given to people out of a genuine effort to be nice.

*We have fun new experiences here all the time. Whether it's trying new foods, going to fun parties, or enjoying a new activity (a safari, elephant ride, parasailing, fish massage, etc.) there is always something new, different and exciting in our lives. And, the opportunity for wonderful, exotic and adventurous travel in the Southeast Asia region is plentiful. This, to me, is one of the best things about being here.

*The food is delicious and there's an amazing variety of upscale restaurants to represent virtually every major cuisine around the world.

*We have a diverse group of friends who are from all over the world - Indonesia, South Africa, Korea, Singapore, England, New Zealand, Australia, Hong Kong, etc. Also significant is that the expat community here is very active, unified, and energetic. I love that there are always unique events to go to, and that so many people here (not only me!) are eager to plan/host fun activities.

*It's warm (but not terribly hot, like I heard it's been back home in Washington, D.C.) every single day of the year.

*There are gorgeous trees, plants and flowers all over the city, in our housing compound, and most importantly in our backyard. I love laying in the pool on a raft and looking up at the palm trees blowing gently in the breeze.

*Our kids go to an amazing school here, far beyond our wildest dreams of a school in D.C. Jakarta International School has three campuses for elementary school, junior high, and high school they are situated on 40 acres of lush, tropical, beautifully-manicured land that is a serene oasis from the craziness of Jakarta. Each campus offers air-conditioned and wireless classrooms; dedicated visual and performing arts theaters; technology labs; age-appropriate library/media centers; cafeterias; as well as swimming pools, fields, covered recreational spaces and gymnasiums.

Then, some other more superficial benefits of living here:

*A good massage, facial, scrub, or body wrap costs $7-$14 an hour.

*Babysitters cost, on average, about $2/hour. Yeah, that's for real! Some of our friends have date night out without kids at least once or twice a week. We try to go out alone once every week or two or three.

*Taking up a new hobby is easy here because the cost of labor is cheap. As a result, each member of our family (except Natasha right now) is taking tennis lessons from the same instructor on a different day of the week, and he comes to our housing compound for each lesson. Plus, I take hot yoga classes and Darren and Natasha are taking guitar classes in our house every Monday. Also, Logan and Natasha both take gymnastics class at a very nice modern gym, and they are signed up to start soccer classes in September. In addition, once the kids are back in school, I plan to take some photography classes. We love that we are able to try out a new sport or hobby very easily, without a big financial investment.

*I love going to the movie theater and most first run movies come here at the same time they're released in the US and/or Asia. Plus, movie theaters here range from plush and very nice to flat out decadent - offering Premiere movie-goers a full, lay-out lazy boy chair and waiter service of food and alcohol. AND, going to the movies is cheap here. A movie costs about $3 to $5 (or $6 for a Premiere movie) and, get this, a bucket of sweet caramel popcorn, salty butter popcorn, or half and half mixed popcorn costs only about $1-$2. I mean, come on . . . that's what corn with air in it SHOULD cost!

*Our family receives the fantastic, dutiful and caring assistance of a maid, a nanny, a pool boy/gardner, a driver, and 3 security guards . . . why would I ever want to leave, right?

Okay, now the down side . . .

What do you like least about Jakarta?

*Traffic is horrendous. Unlike anything I've ever experienced in the US, except maybe I could compare it to Los Angles at rush hour, but it's like that every single minute of every single day of the year, even at midnight.

*Mosquitos are constant. I recently read that since mosquitos are attracted to smells, scientists estimate that approximately 10% of the world's population have the smell that makes them a "mosquito magnet." I am a full fledged mosquito magnet. Last week the mosquitos sucked my blood in 18 different spots within a 2-day span of time. I try to be cautious and wear bug repellant every day, but I swear, I'm going to get Dengue Fever one day soon. And, it's not going to be pretty.

*There are practically no public playgrounds, parks, or green space for outdoor entertainment. This is probably in my best interest given the item about mosquitos above, but still, it is hard to go without being outside and enjoying the great outdoors sometimes. 'Specially with kids.

*There are virtually no sidewalks anywhere, and the side of the roads are too crumbled, bumpy, broken, muddy, littered, or too heavily traversed with motorbikes to walk down. Very few people here ever really WALK outside. That is the main reason we moved into a large compound of 200 houses. Inside this compound, there is space for us to go walking and running, and for the kids to go biking all around the compound. Very few people in Jakarta can do that from their home. Almost none.

*There is a noticeable absence of cultural arts - very few (or no) museums, theater - dramas, musicals, or otherwise, and very little theater entertainment. However, there are a few live music venues (jazz, rock, pop) and Jakarta does have some popular musical acts who come through Jakarta, including: Katy Perry, Justin Beiber, Maroon 5, Earth Wind and Fire, Rod Stewart, Elton John, and, Lady Gaga almost performed here, but cancelled at the last minute due to problems with government permitting and threats of violence.

*Even as much of a computer/Blackberry/and email junkie as I am, I really dislike the incredible over saturation of electronics in Jakarta. Video games are very popular here - with loud video arcades everywhere. There are also loud televisions everywhere too. In the shopping malls (which is where people often congregate) you can't go into any restaurant without there being a TV (or two or three), and even most of the stores, clothing, books, food, or otherwise, have TVs playing blaring loud videos. I notice this mostly because if TV's were a magnet, which I think they are, my 8 year old son is a huge chunk of steel. Sometimes I can't pry him away from the TV because he literally doesn't hear me and has some crazy tunnel vision connecting his brain to the TV through invisible wires.

What do you miss about America?

Honestly, the only thing I really miss with any kind of genuine sadness are my friends and family. That is the #1 thing I miss.  Skype and FaceTime do help quite a bit (if you haven't Skyped us yet, what are you waiting for??), but it's just not the same as an in-person talk, or a warm hug.

Aside from that, possibly the biggest thing I miss about being in America is having a job.  I know that some people think I'm crazy for saying that, but I really miss the intellectual stimulation I found from my job, the sense of pride and accomplishment, not to mention the feeling of collegiality and community in being a part of a good organization.

I also experience some negligible longing for a few foods - most of which can be found here, but taste different.  Otherwise, I don't miss much . . .

However, if I had to pick some tangible items, they would probably be food-related, such as:
Well, for the first 4-5 months here, there was LOTS to do and on any given day I was doing some (or several of) the following:

Good, chewy bagels, like from H&H in NYC. Oh, and cream cheese.

Good wine for less than $20/bottle. Wine here is at least $40 a bottle for the crappy, sometimes inedible wine, and $80-$100 for the decent wine. We've stopped drinking wine almost entirely.

Reasonably-priced cheese. Most good cheese is incredibly expensive. A small block of Manchego or even swiss cheese can easily cost $10-$15.

Hamburgers with soft, juicy meat (as opposed to tough Australian meat), with no over-cooked onion taste to it. They seem to put heavy onions inside the mix of every hamburger made here. Yuck.

My kids say that the number one food they miss from America is Mama Lucia's pizza. We have Pizza Hut pizza here and several brick oven thin crust pizza chains, but it's not the same as a good, chewy Mama Lucia's pizza. I agree!

Natasha broke her leg . . . has she gotten her cast off yet?

Yes and no. She got the cast off about a week ago and is doing great, but the doc says she still cannot put full weight on her leg until 4 weeks from getting the cast off. Once the cast came off, we had a big CastAway swimming party for her, since swimming was the one thing she missed the most about having her cast on.

So, despite having her cast off, her leg is not healed yet. I'm not sure why, but I was deluding myself to think that once the cast was removed, she'd go skipping happily down the street and we'd all go back to life as normal. But instead, she's still hopping around, crab-walking through the house, and using a wheelchair when we go out, which quite a pain. However, while I'm not thrilled about the idea of taking a wheelchair to our Lombok Island holiday next week, and not excited that we won't be able to hike the volcano in Lombok - the 2nd largest in all of Indonesia, I am at least comforted by the fact that her cast is now off when we'll be at the Lombok island beaches. As you can imagine, a cast and sand just do not mix! The thing was god-aweful itchy enough before, without little tiny pellets of hard grain accidentally falling inside her cast. So, that is good news.

How do you spend your time when the kids are in school?

. . . going to job networking events, looking for jobs on-line and writing cover letters to apply for those jobs, getting business cards printed, figuring out where to buy things for our house (for example, we didn't bring ANY beds or bedroom furniture, so we have to buy it all here). In addition, I am in charge of setting up a foreign bank account (which is complicated), making sure our passport/visas are in order since we need it for all major transactions, searching classified ads and talking to agents about buying a used car, tracking our overseas shipment container and communicating with relocation company about same, taking care of all prescription refills from our pharmacy back home, updating our computer software so all of our information is saved, and doing bank transfers to pay bills such as hotel bill, school tuition fees, and a cash deposit to our new landlord for three years rent in advance. (Yes, you heard that right.) In addition, I have written and revised employment contracts for our nanny and driver and I take care of tracking all hours worked and overtime worked, then I'm responsible for paying them (and making sure I have cash to do so) twice a month. I am also in charge of helping the kids with their homework each day, checking it, packing their lunches and making sure they have swim clothes, gym uniform, and/or musical instruments, and library books each day. Plus, I'm trying to work out at least 3 days a week, and I'm taking tennis lessons, volunteering at the kid's schools, studying for my scuba certification class, and taking Bahasa lessons. In addition, I am the CEO of the household and am responsible for taking care of any needs, repairs, problems, complaints, bills, deliveries, and maintenance issue of the house, the finances, or the family.

Plus, on average I receive about 80-90 emails a day and I respond to every single one of them. Even if it means staying up until 11 or 12 at night, which I do on a regular basis.

In short, I'm not sitting around eating bonbons all day, but yes, I do manage to squeeze in a spa treatment every now and then. It's the only way I can keep my sanity some days.

Now that many of those things to do have tapered off: school is set, we're in a house, unpacked, and settled in, there is much less to do and I have turned my attention more to my search for a job. I am really eager to work, but it's difficult. Foreign lawyers are not allowed to practice law here, plus recent regulations prohibit me from holding a visa for any human resources job, which is a natural corollary to my employment law background. But, I'm going to networking events and am working hard on my search for the right job fit, so keep your fingers crossed for me!

I hope this answers some questions about my life as an expat in Jakarta.